I spent a few hours with my mom at hospice last night. It's just so sad to see my mom lying there in the bed, waiting to die. It's more than just sad...it's agonizing. She hasn't eaten in 3 days, and has only had a few sips of water. They've been giving her anxiety medication because she's been so restless. We just want her to be comfortable and out of pain. Family members and friends have been coming and going all week. My grandmother has been there every day, from early morning until dinner time. She seems to be the only one that is able to calm and comfort my mother. I'm sure it's extremely difficult to see your child in this position. I can't even imagine.
The people at hospice have been very helpful and are doing a wonderful job of taking care of my mother. The volunteers occasionally stop us in the hall to see how we're doing, and to offer their help. Right now, I don't think there's anything they can say to me that will make me feel any better. I hope that will change and I'll be open to listening to what they have to say. I'm just not ready yet.
My Mom
This picture was taken on 2/3/07 at my sister's wedding.
My Mom and my son
This was taken at his 2nd birthday party.This was before the cancer.
Mindy, Molly and Me
From Molly's wedding on 2/3/07
2 comments:
I know it's hard to imagine this pain never going away, but someday it will. Curtis will remember his Grandma because he is surrounded by people that love her. And even though her physical presence will not be here, her spirit always will. As Curtis grows up, she'll be watching him. Curtis knows....I think our children understand the key to happiness better than any of us. I pray and hope that one day you will have a peace that passes all understanding knowing that your Mom will be in good hands.....
I don't really know what to say, Meems, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you...
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